Yesterday, while volunteering at JCCH, I spoke to another volunteer about her college plans. You see, she graduates from high school next week Saturday and is excited about her future. I vaguely remember feeling that same euphoria all those years ago. It was nice to bask in it again, if only for a half hour or so.
Anyway, she's going to OSU and talked endlessly about her hopes and what she expects college to be like. She talked about her worries about getting a roommate she'd like and the craziness that is dorm life. She pondered what there'd be to do since the campus is pretty much in the sticks. She said she wanted to get her driver's license before she left, just in case she'd be able to drive someone's car.
As she talked, I suddenly realized how long it's been since I've had that same feeling of wonder. At that point in life, there are endless possibilities out there for you. You don't quite know where your life will end up, but you're totally willing to see what happens. In fact, you rush toward your destiny with an impatience that others may view as reckless abandon. But to you, there's just no point in letting life happen to you. You'd prefer to interact with it, to embrace it. You grasp for that gold ring, hope things end well and leap with a faith that'll get you through even the worst.
When was the last time you lived with such fervor? When was the last time you walked toward the unknown, both eyes gleaming with anticipation? If you're like me, it's been a while. Stuck in your cubicles in a life-sucking void pretty much kills all of those feelings. Fighting against that bullshit bureaucracy that somehow has enveloped your entire life can be draining to say the least. When the hell did this become your life and why didn't you notice it before now?
I'm not saying to go jump off a cliff so you can feel that excitement again. I'm not saying to let go of all that you've become in order to reclaim your lost youth. I'm definitely not saying that. But what I am saying is why not still dabble in the amazing? Why not take risks that make you feel alive but won't necessarily kill you - at least not literally? Yes, you're older and wiser than you were before . . . but you're also probably a bit more well off, financially speaking, and can finally afford to do all those blue-sky dreams you rambled off when you were a broke college student.
The sad thing is that many of us are unlikely to do those things we planned while in some kind of drunken stupor. Even though we now have the time (be it just two weeks of vacation or not) and money, the inclination does not seem to be there. The youthful innocence we held only a few years ago has become just another casualty in life (along with eating cereal three meals a day and watching 24-hour marathons of your favorite sitcom). But why did we let it slip away so easily? Why do we continue to let it? Why not reinvigorate it and actually make things happen? What are we afraid of?
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high school. Show all posts
May 30, 2010
February 19, 2010
Dream A Little Dream
Is it weird to dream about people you haven't seen in years? Last night I had a dream about someone I haven't seen since my freshman year of college.
But the thing is, the dream was in real time. I was my current age. I looked like I do now, not like I did then. (Although maybe it was really a nightmare since I'd give anything to be as skinny as I was just out of high school.)
The dream was pretty vivid and the setting was a house I lived in while in high school, which is three locations ago if you count dorming for a year in college. I haven't even been back to that house for at least five years, probably more. I don't remember exactly when we moved out of that place.
What do you suppose it means, to dream about someone from your past? Is it some kind of premonition? Is is nostalgia manifesting itself when you're most likely to let it in? Is it your subconscious taking a tally of your life, then and now? Is it just reliving your history?
But the thing is, the dream was in real time. I was my current age. I looked like I do now, not like I did then. (Although maybe it was really a nightmare since I'd give anything to be as skinny as I was just out of high school.)
The dream was pretty vivid and the setting was a house I lived in while in high school, which is three locations ago if you count dorming for a year in college. I haven't even been back to that house for at least five years, probably more. I don't remember exactly when we moved out of that place.
What do you suppose it means, to dream about someone from your past? Is it some kind of premonition? Is is nostalgia manifesting itself when you're most likely to let it in? Is it your subconscious taking a tally of your life, then and now? Is it just reliving your history?
March 2, 2009
Where You Wen Grad? (high school meme tag)
I read the Midlife Crisis blog on The Honolulu Advertiser today and caught another one of those memes. I'm several days too late to post a reply on their site, so I figured I'd do it on my own. Feel free to comment back.
1. Did you date someone from your school?
Nope, for some reason I just didn't think the guys were all that. Plus, it'd be weird like dating your brother almost.
2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
Nope, not married. Probably wouldn't anyway.
3. Did you car pool to school?
Nope, got dropped off or drove.
4. What kind of car did you have?
'98 Civic Coupe
5. What kind of car do you have now?
'07 Altima
6. Its Friday night.. where were you then?
Apparently not very interesting because I can't remember what we did. I think we just cruised or hung out at someone's house.
7. It's Saturday night, where were you then?
Probably go to the beach or Ala Moana
8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
Receptionist at a Honda dealership
9. What kind of job do you do now?
Marketing for a financial institution
10. Were you a party animal?
Nah, too goody goody for that
11. Were you considered a flirt?
Nah, don't think so
12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Nope. I took two years of band in intermediate school (it was either that or chorus and I can't sing), but gave it up for soccer come high school.
13. Were you a nerd, jock, prep, greaser, punk...etc.?
Hmmm . . . I guess a nerdy jock? Or an athletic nerd?
14. Did you get detentions, suspended or expelled, or, all of the above?
Nope, again too goody goody
15. Can you sing the fight song?
I don't know if we had one
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
Mrs. Itagaki for English and Mrs. Koval for biology
17. Where did you sit during lunch?
We had split lunches so it depended what friends were on the same lunch as me.
18. What was your school's full name?
Mililani High School
19. When did you graduate?
1999
20. What was your school mascot?
Trojans
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Yeah probably. I'd be more involved and care less about what people thought.
22. Did you have fun at your Prom?
Yup, most of it was pretty fun.
23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Not really, although he's a friend on MySpace. Does that count? haha
24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
The reunion is this year so no, probably not.
25. Do you still talk to people from school?
Only my best friend. I've lost touch with most of the other people.
1. Did you date someone from your school?
Nope, for some reason I just didn't think the guys were all that. Plus, it'd be weird like dating your brother almost.
2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
Nope, not married. Probably wouldn't anyway.
3. Did you car pool to school?
Nope, got dropped off or drove.
4. What kind of car did you have?
'98 Civic Coupe
5. What kind of car do you have now?
'07 Altima
6. Its Friday night.. where were you then?
Apparently not very interesting because I can't remember what we did. I think we just cruised or hung out at someone's house.
7. It's Saturday night, where were you then?
Probably go to the beach or Ala Moana
8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
Receptionist at a Honda dealership
9. What kind of job do you do now?
Marketing for a financial institution
10. Were you a party animal?
Nah, too goody goody for that
11. Were you considered a flirt?
Nah, don't think so
12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Nope. I took two years of band in intermediate school (it was either that or chorus and I can't sing), but gave it up for soccer come high school.
13. Were you a nerd, jock, prep, greaser, punk...etc.?
Hmmm . . . I guess a nerdy jock? Or an athletic nerd?
14. Did you get detentions, suspended or expelled, or, all of the above?
Nope, again too goody goody
15. Can you sing the fight song?
I don't know if we had one
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
Mrs. Itagaki for English and Mrs. Koval for biology
17. Where did you sit during lunch?
We had split lunches so it depended what friends were on the same lunch as me.
18. What was your school's full name?
Mililani High School
19. When did you graduate?
1999
20. What was your school mascot?
Trojans
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Yeah probably. I'd be more involved and care less about what people thought.
22. Did you have fun at your Prom?
Yup, most of it was pretty fun.
23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Not really, although he's a friend on MySpace. Does that count? haha
24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
The reunion is this year so no, probably not.
25. Do you still talk to people from school?
Only my best friend. I've lost touch with most of the other people.
August 3, 2008
Seasons Change but All Remains the Same
I hung out with one of my good friends today and we took a mini trip around the island. It was nice just to chill and talk story about everything and nothing at all. We ended up at Kakaako Waterfront Park watching the surfers.
A bunch of kids from high school came out of the water and were talking about prom, hot girls, tests, which teachers are easy and if they're going to pass or fail the class. It was an interesting social experiment for me to watch these guys (kids?) interact with each other. I remember being their age at some point and remember guys acting that way, but what surprised and amused me in an ironic sort of way is the realization that guys hadn't changed much in the almost ten years I've been outta high school. They pretty much still act like these beach kids. Let me explain.
Re: Taking a certain girl to prom
Guy 1: mumbling about the girl
Guy 2: "What? Hot? Ugly?"
Re: Either another girl from school or a female teacher
Guy 1: "She pretty ah?"
Guy 2: "Un, but ho, she one b*tch uh?"
I guess when a bunch of guys get together there's no real reason to be articulate. Who are they trying to impress anyway right? Better save that for when they're with a girl. Their interactions are more a series of words interspersed with grunts and other caveman-like sounds.
A bunch of kids from high school came out of the water and were talking about prom, hot girls, tests, which teachers are easy and if they're going to pass or fail the class. It was an interesting social experiment for me to watch these guys (kids?) interact with each other. I remember being their age at some point and remember guys acting that way, but what surprised and amused me in an ironic sort of way is the realization that guys hadn't changed much in the almost ten years I've been outta high school. They pretty much still act like these beach kids. Let me explain.
Re: Taking a certain girl to prom
Guy 1: mumbling about the girl
Guy 2: "What? Hot? Ugly?"
Re: Either another girl from school or a female teacher
Guy 1: "She pretty ah?"
Guy 2: "Un, but ho, she one b*tch uh?"
I guess when a bunch of guys get together there's no real reason to be articulate. Who are they trying to impress anyway right? Better save that for when they're with a girl. Their interactions are more a series of words interspersed with grunts and other caveman-like sounds.
July 11, 2008
School Reunions - To Go or Not to Go
I've been participating in Dave Vinton's blog about his class reunion, and I wanted to further explore the topic here.
He and other bloggers advise that I go to my 10-year reunion (not till 2009) because people change in 10 years. They say these changes are good and bad, so I suppose that means some get fatter (I'm definitely one of those), some get skinnier, some get better looking (hopefully me again . . . haha), some people's looks regress, etc. And while I am sort of curious about how people look and what they've been doing, I also feel as though not enough time has passed.
Granted, it'll have been a decade (geez, that makes us sound old!) but personally, I don't even feel like I've accomplished much since graduation. Oh, I've done what many people may have done - graduated from college, found a job, living on my own and whatever else one can do in 10 years - but I feel like at the core, I'm still that 18-year-old kid that was happy to finally get out of high school. All the hopes and dreams, the I-can-conquer-the-world feeling I felt then is still with me.
Also, I wonder about if going to your high school reunion somehow makes you revert to how you were in high school. These are the people who saw you all snotty-nosed and zit-faced. Ok, well maybe I'm exaggerating. But they are the ones who were with you when you went through a lot of changes - physical, mental and emotional - and this is probably how they remember you. Do you fall back into your stereotypical niche once you step foot back on the metaphorical campus? Or does the 10 years spent as your "real self" away from the high school peer pressures and preconceived notions win out in the end?
When I was in school, I had a core group of friends but wouldn't say it was a clique (although there was plenty of that going on too). I wasn't in the popular crowd, by all means, but I wasn't at the bottom rung of the social ladder either. I think this has to do with what you participate in throughout your life. For instance, I played soccer growing up so I knew the "jocks." I took two years of band in intermediate school (it was either that or chorus and you don't want to hear me sing) so I knew some "band geeks." I took some AP classes so I knew the "brainiacs." And everyone takes PE and Health, so I knew everyone some people in between.
When you go to your class reunion, are we still relegated to these stereotypes? Or do people see you as you are now and not who you used to be?
He and other bloggers advise that I go to my 10-year reunion (not till 2009) because people change in 10 years. They say these changes are good and bad, so I suppose that means some get fatter (I'm definitely one of those), some get skinnier, some get better looking (hopefully me again . . . haha), some people's looks regress, etc. And while I am sort of curious about how people look and what they've been doing, I also feel as though not enough time has passed.
Granted, it'll have been a decade (geez, that makes us sound old!) but personally, I don't even feel like I've accomplished much since graduation. Oh, I've done what many people may have done - graduated from college, found a job, living on my own and whatever else one can do in 10 years - but I feel like at the core, I'm still that 18-year-old kid that was happy to finally get out of high school. All the hopes and dreams, the I-can-conquer-the-world feeling I felt then is still with me.
Also, I wonder about if going to your high school reunion somehow makes you revert to how you were in high school. These are the people who saw you all snotty-nosed and zit-faced. Ok, well maybe I'm exaggerating. But they are the ones who were with you when you went through a lot of changes - physical, mental and emotional - and this is probably how they remember you. Do you fall back into your stereotypical niche once you step foot back on the metaphorical campus? Or does the 10 years spent as your "real self" away from the high school peer pressures and preconceived notions win out in the end?
When I was in school, I had a core group of friends but wouldn't say it was a clique (although there was plenty of that going on too). I wasn't in the popular crowd, by all means, but I wasn't at the bottom rung of the social ladder either. I think this has to do with what you participate in throughout your life. For instance, I played soccer growing up so I knew the "jocks." I took two years of band in intermediate school (it was either that or chorus and you don't want to hear me sing) so I knew some "band geeks." I took some AP classes so I knew the "brainiacs." And everyone takes PE and Health, so I knew everyone some people in between.
When you go to your class reunion, are we still relegated to these stereotypes? Or do people see you as you are now and not who you used to be?
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