My naked neighbor dude gave me a shock today, a shock that almost brought tears to my eyes. (As if I could be more appalled than I already am with an naked neighbor across the street, huh?)
Upon getting home, I checked my mail and glanced up to see a streak of blue in the window. What the?!?! On closer inspection, I saw that it was only my formerly naked, exercising neighbor wearing some aqua undies. (I think that's the new color for summer, right?) From where I stood, they looked like blue tighty whities.
Another change is that he obviously turned it up a notch by jogging rather than walking that treadmill. I can only imagine where he thinks he's going on that thing, but I digress. For a moment, I stop to ponder why, after all these months, he has a sudden fascination with aqua undies. My conclusion is that the amount of bounceage is too much for him and he needs some extra support downstairs. To much getting jiggy with it, I guess.
This idea has made me crack up to no end. Not only does it prove that he was INDEED naked all these months, I find the idea that he needs the ball support hysterical. In my overly active imagination, he's tried jogging sans undies and found too much jiggle and not enough giggle. So, to his disgust, he's had to don some undies to reduce the wigglage. How can that not make you laugh your ass off?
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
May 21, 2009
April 14, 2009
Free Per View
I was wrong. The dude is still there. Saw him exercising his little butt off this afternoon when I got home from work. Apparently he just missed a day and I mixed up the floors. Dude, it wouldn't be so bad if it were Josh Holloway (of Lost) or somebody. But it's not. I gotta remember to put on some winkers like they do for horses.
April 13, 2009
Pay Per View
Anyone reading this blog knows about my overzealous exercising neighbor (read here or here if you're just tuning in). Well I know I haven't updated in a while, but basically he's now in great shape. Before I'd only see him on Saturdays, but then it turned into every day!
Despite this, I still could not let go of this facination to look up at his window. Yeah, I know it's weird and pervy but really, it's not like I really wanted to look up. From my angle, he looked sorta skinny, don'tcha think? But, unfailingly, if it was around go time and I was at my mailbox, I'd look up. It was like I had to make sure the bugger was exercising, like I was the exercise popo.
So you couldn't imagine my surprise when I looked up today and didn't see him. It was like some kind of loss - a weird, uji loss but a loss none the less. I was so shocked I had look again to make sure it was the same window.
No way! After months of flaunting his junk (not that you could really see anything), he had a curtain installed and some folding doors. I wonder who final told the poor dude that he was flashing everyone? Or, maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe he got the tan he wanted and didn't want to risk over exposure?
Whatever the reason it seems there will be no more sharing among neighbors. Should I or anyone else want a peep show, we will have to do it like everyone else now - pay per view.
Despite this, I still could not let go of this facination to look up at his window. Yeah, I know it's weird and pervy but really, it's not like I really wanted to look up. From my angle, he looked sorta skinny, don'tcha think? But, unfailingly, if it was around go time and I was at my mailbox, I'd look up. It was like I had to make sure the bugger was exercising, like I was the exercise popo.
So you couldn't imagine my surprise when I looked up today and didn't see him. It was like some kind of loss - a weird, uji loss but a loss none the less. I was so shocked I had look again to make sure it was the same window.
No way! After months of flaunting his junk (not that you could really see anything), he had a curtain installed and some folding doors. I wonder who final told the poor dude that he was flashing everyone? Or, maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe he got the tan he wanted and didn't want to risk over exposure?
Whatever the reason it seems there will be no more sharing among neighbors. Should I or anyone else want a peep show, we will have to do it like everyone else now - pay per view.
July 19, 2008
Naked Boys Singing!
Don't ever accuse me of false advertising or extreme exaggeration (well, not about this anyway). Fresh out of my dvd player is a musical theater performance-turned-movie called Naked Boys Singing! (2007). I stumbled upon it while browsing through random dvds on Netflix. Of course, the catchy title drew me, just like those darn Brangelina twins and the Madonna/A Rod affair.After reading the first three reviews, I realized that the movie was marketed to about 82 percent gay men, 13 percent closeted gay men and 5 percent straight women. We'll, I'm proud to say that I indeed fall into that 5 percent so I quickly added it to my queue and waited anxiously for it to come on over.
When the dvd arrived, I ripped open the package and shoved it in. Interestingly enough, the dvd label was of a naked guy with the center diecut discreetly over his junk. This may well be the only discreet thing about the film.
The opening number, called "Gratuitous Nudity," quickly got the show swinging, and I really do mean swinging. After the initial shock of seeing 10 naked men dancing and singing wore off, I have to say that I really did like the cleverness of the lyrics. The songs were equally funny, touching, poignant and outright in-your-face (as was every anatomical part of the male body).
The show spared no expense and cast actors who could definitely let loose vocally. By the end of the first song, the show wasn't so much about naked guys but more about the art of it all. The message of being naked (physically, emotionally, psychologically) and setting yourself free to live and love was communicated loud and clear.
I'm not sure how gay men would view the film, but as a straight woman I'd give it two thumbs up. The performers were all attractive and very fit. There was a wide range in ethnicities so I guess you could say there was a flavor for everyone (I swear one of the cast members looks like Doug Savant of Melrose Place, another looks like Mark Espinoza of Beverly Hills 90210 and one even looks a bit like Rob Schneider).
I'm not sure how gay men would view the film, but as a straight woman I'd give it two thumbs up. The performers were all attractive and very fit. There was a wide range in ethnicities so I guess you could say there was a flavor for everyone (I swear one of the cast members looks like Doug Savant of Melrose Place, another looks like Mark Espinoza of Beverly Hills 90210 and one even looks a bit like Rob Schneider). The guys weren't hulking with muscles (like Chippendales performers) but many were definitely ripped. Their performance ability was definitely ten times better than any "male revue" out there, which I totally appreciate. I mean, can you believe they actually sang on key and their dance numbers were in sync? And there wasn't any of that corny hip thrusting or crotch grabbing; no unnecessary snake-like undulating or smokey, bedroom-eye gazes. It was basically a good theater number that happened to be about nakedness where all the performers were, well, naked.
As a side note, I attended a Chippendales performance when they were in Hawaii a couple years back when we went out for a friend's hen party. While those guys are good to look at, they couldn't sing or dance worth a damn. They had no rhythm and probably no soul either. I was definitely disappointed. You come to be entertained, but unless you throw yourself into their arms and have an outrageous number of dollar bills for lap dances, the show is not worth its weight in gold. Naked Boys Singing!, on the other hand, was a gem, even with a small budget and limited production time (as noted on the "Making of" video that can be found on the Special Features).
Naked Boys Singing! Trailer
Image sources:
June 15, 2008
Return of the Mack
Just a quick update on everyone's friendly neighbor.
Yesterday a friend and I spotted the naked exerciser at his normal location at his normal time. Now, I definitely have a witness and this witness' testimony is that yes, the man is indeed walking on his treadmill naked. There you have it folks. I am neither blind nor delusional.
I find it curious that my neighbor only likes to exercise on Saturday afternoons. I wonder why that is? As if compelled by an invisible force, every time I leave my apartment I gaze up at the window expecting to see him there. Yesterday was the first time he's been there since the intial sighting. I'll keep you posted.
Yesterday a friend and I spotted the naked exerciser at his normal location at his normal time. Now, I definitely have a witness and this witness' testimony is that yes, the man is indeed walking on his treadmill naked. There you have it folks. I am neither blind nor delusional.
I find it curious that my neighbor only likes to exercise on Saturday afternoons. I wonder why that is? As if compelled by an invisible force, every time I leave my apartment I gaze up at the window expecting to see him there. Yesterday was the first time he's been there since the intial sighting. I'll keep you posted.
May 3, 2008
Exercise Does A Body Good?
Today I saw the wildest thing ever since I moved into my own apartment about eight months ago. As I stood waiting on my driveway for my ride, I happened to look at the apartment building across the street. A slight movement caught my eye on the sixth floor.
Upon further inspection, I found a man walking on a treadmill next to his window. The curtains and jalousies were wide open, and the treadmill was situated parallel to the windows. There was a white towel that blocked the sun from beating down on his face. Squinting my eyes, because my brain did not believe what my eyes were seeing, revealed that the man was indeed buck naked! After a gasp and a giggle, I thought, "This is what apartment living is all about - the freaky neighbors."
Hesitating for only a second, I ran back to my apartment to grab my camera. Some might think that I'm a freak myself for wanting to document this rare find, but I just think of it as being a good blogger. This was too good to not blog about, right? I tried to snap a pic from my floor, but there were some trees in the way. I ended up on the landing between my floor and the next shooting through a crack in the wall.
When my ride arrived, I told them to look at the freaky, naked dude. I still couldn't believe that a grown-ass man would walk next to the window naked. Was this for real? Can exercise really do a body that good that you're ignorant of your nakedness?
They looked up at the sixth floor and said he wasn't naked. He was wearing peach-colored board shorts. You could definitely tell because of the shadows the shorts created. Also, unless his ass was wrinkly, he was definitely wearing shorts.
However, as they say a picture (or pictures, in my case) is worth a thousand words. If you ask me, those aren't a pair of peach-colored board shorts. Not by a long shot . . . .
Upon further inspection, I found a man walking on a treadmill next to his window. The curtains and jalousies were wide open, and the treadmill was situated parallel to the windows. There was a white towel that blocked the sun from beating down on his face. Squinting my eyes, because my brain did not believe what my eyes were seeing, revealed that the man was indeed buck naked! After a gasp and a giggle, I thought, "This is what apartment living is all about - the freaky neighbors."
Hesitating for only a second, I ran back to my apartment to grab my camera. Some might think that I'm a freak myself for wanting to document this rare find, but I just think of it as being a good blogger. This was too good to not blog about, right? I tried to snap a pic from my floor, but there were some trees in the way. I ended up on the landing between my floor and the next shooting through a crack in the wall.
When my ride arrived, I told them to look at the freaky, naked dude. I still couldn't believe that a grown-ass man would walk next to the window naked. Was this for real? Can exercise really do a body that good that you're ignorant of your nakedness?
They looked up at the sixth floor and said he wasn't naked. He was wearing peach-colored board shorts. You could definitely tell because of the shadows the shorts created. Also, unless his ass was wrinkly, he was definitely wearing shorts.
However, as they say a picture (or pictures, in my case) is worth a thousand words. If you ask me, those aren't a pair of peach-colored board shorts. Not by a long shot . . . .
Posts
