Range of Aches and Pains

On Saturday I went out to Kapolei Golf Course with my dad for my first official golf lesson. No, he's not some club pro or part of that KCC class I registered for. He's just my dad. I asked him to take me out because I figured I shouldn't wait around for the fall class to discover the joy (and pain) that is golf.

So we went out there to the driving range and bought a bucket of balls ($4 a bucket). Over the next hour and half, he did his best to acquaint me with some irons and woods. Let me tell you that it was definitely harder to do than I remember. I've only been the driving range a couple of times in my life and all when I was younger and relatively fit. Now I feel like an out-of-shape, uncoordinated buffoon trying to hit these elusive neon yellow balls.

You'd think that you'd be able to hit the ball every time you swung a club. For goodness sake, the thing is not even moving. It's not like a baseball or tennis ball that can curve or dip away from you. This little ball is just sitting there patiently waiting for you to whack it down the course. Yet, somehow this simple task takes all your concentration and effort . . . and still there is no guarantee that the ball will be moving at all.

Needless to say there were tons of times when I either missed the ball completely or topped it off. Other times I'd be lucky enough to dribble it 10 feet away from me. I'd call it a success if it was 10 feet directly in front of me. But no, now and again it'd squirt to the left or right of straight ahead.

I don't know how golfers do it. There's so much to remember and think of before every shot. Check your grip. Plant your feet. Bend your knees. Pick up the club head. Don't try to crank it. Just make contact. Slow down your tempo. Keep your head down. Oh my gosh it's so frustrating.
Besides all that, you begin to notice that your body is aching in places you never thought would ache. If your hands are like mine (ie. delicate from all that indoor office work I do 40 hours a week), then let me warn you of the possibility of blisters. If no blisters develop (lucky you), you'll definitely have achy finger joints. I'm serious. Who would've thought, right? But today my hands hurt when I close them and seem to have no strength to grip anything. I also have two minor blisters from yesterday's adventure.

In addition to these sore hands, I've got muscles everywhere screaming that they've been used and abused for no reason at all. Wrist, forearms, shoulders, back, stomach, quads, hamstrings and calves. Pretty much every major muscle is tight from yesterday's exersion. Don't let anyone tell you golf is a safe, non-contact sport. This game touches every part of your body, especially if you're not in shape (which I fully admit to not being).

Still, despite all the muscular aches and pains that I have today, I was able to hit some good, solid shots yesterday. Oddly enough, it makes you feel good to hit a good one after so many bad ones. But I did make an improvement from start to finish, and that's the main idea of practicing is it not? I intend to try again next weekend and see if I can still remember all the rules. Hopefully my body will be more cooperative and not so shocked by the weird twisting and turning next time.

Big Brains Are Sexy

People, if you didn't already know, big brains are sexy. Ok, not literally big brains but intelligence, cleverness, smarts - you get the picture.

If you want to attract your future mate, all you need to do is this simple exercise for three to five minutes a day. Introducing SuperBrain Yoga.

Yeah, it might look silly. Yeah, you might feel silly doing it. Yeah, it quite possibly is silly. But wait to see who has the last laugh when you pull a hot bloke or skirt your first night out.

Getting Jiggy with it

My naked neighbor dude gave me a shock today, a shock that almost brought tears to my eyes. (As if I could be more appalled than I already am with an naked neighbor across the street, huh?)

Upon getting home, I checked my mail and glanced up to see a streak of blue in the window. What the?!?! On closer inspection, I saw that it was only my formerly naked, exercising neighbor wearing some aqua undies. (I think that's the new color for summer, right?) From where I stood, they looked like blue tighty whities.

Another change is that he obviously turned it up a notch by jogging rather than walking that treadmill. I can only imagine where he thinks he's going on that thing, but I digress. For a moment, I stop to ponder why, after all these months, he has a sudden fascination with aqua undies. My conclusion is that the amount of bounceage is too much for him and he needs some extra support downstairs. To much getting jiggy with it, I guess.

This idea has made me crack up to no end. Not only does it prove that he was INDEED naked all these months, I find the idea that he needs the ball support hysterical. In my overly active imagination, he's tried jogging sans undies and found too much jiggle and not enough giggle. So, to his disgust, he's had to don some undies to reduce the wigglage. How can that not make you laugh your ass off?

Free Per View

I was wrong. The dude is still there. Saw him exercising his little butt off this afternoon when I got home from work. Apparently he just missed a day and I mixed up the floors. Dude, it wouldn't be so bad if it were Josh Holloway (of Lost) or somebody. But it's not. I gotta remember to put on some winkers like they do for horses.

Pay Per View

Anyone reading this blog knows about my overzealous exercising neighbor (read here or here if you're just tuning in). Well I know I haven't updated in a while, but basically he's now in great shape. Before I'd only see him on Saturdays, but then it turned into every day!

Despite this, I still could not let go of this facination to look up at his window. Yeah, I know it's weird and pervy but really, it's not like I really wanted to look up. From my angle, he looked sorta skinny, don'tcha think? But, unfailingly, if it was around go time and I was at my mailbox, I'd look up. It was like I had to make sure the bugger was exercising, like I was the exercise popo.

So you couldn't imagine my surprise when I looked up today and didn't see him. It was like some kind of loss - a weird, uji loss but a loss none the less. I was so shocked I had look again to make sure it was the same window.

No way! After months of flaunting his junk (not that you could really see anything), he had a curtain installed and some folding doors. I wonder who final told the poor dude that he was flashing everyone? Or, maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe he got the tan he wanted and didn't want to risk over exposure?

Whatever the reason it seems there will be no more sharing among neighbors. Should I or anyone else want a peep show, we will have to do it like everyone else now - pay per view.

Cut the Fat

Inspired by Operation Muffin Top(ple), I've decided to sign up for an account at Live Strong, a site that promotes a healthy lifestyle. It's backed by Lance Armstrong and his people. This hopefully means that the articles and support from the site will be inspirational and informative at the same time.

By joining the site, I hope I'll be able to track my food intake better. I already know I have bad eating habits, but maybe seeing them in front of my face will allow me to finally make the changes I need to eat better and live healthier.

Eventually, I hope this will give me a fighting chance at fulfilling #85 on my Bucket List. Then, a few months (but more realistically years) down the line, I'll be confident enough to work on #82.

I'll let ya know how everything goes, but if you want to keep tabs on your own you can view my Live Strong profile. There isn't much there yet, but it's always nice to have friends.

Return of the Mack

Just a quick update on everyone's friendly neighbor.

Yesterday a friend and I spotted the naked exerciser at his normal location at his normal time. Now, I definitely have a witness and this witness' testimony is that yes, the man is indeed walking on his treadmill naked. There you have it folks. I am neither blind nor delusional.

I find it curious that my neighbor only likes to exercise on Saturday afternoons. I wonder why that is? As if compelled by an invisible force, every time I leave my apartment I gaze up at the window expecting to see him there. Yesterday was the first time he's been there since the intial sighting. I'll keep you posted.

Over Hill, Over Dale

Upon the suggestion of my co-worker and friend, I decided to alter my walking route today. So, instead of going to Kapiolani Park I went to Kakaako Waterfront Park. I did about three laps of the place, which may have been shorter in distance but was definitely a lot hillier.

So here's the evaluation of the new route:

Plus
1. Always a nice breeze coming off the water
2. Not too crowded
3. Nice view of surfers when the waves are up
4. Close to work
5. Hills are probably giving me a better workout than the flat route at Kapiolani

Minus
1. Homeless/scary-looking people hanging about
2. Not too crowded
3. Stray cats (and their fleas no doubt) wandering around
4. Temptation to stop each time I get to the end and watch the surfers at Kewalos (at least I think that's what that surf spot is called)

I guess the pluses outweigh the minuses. For future walks, I'm considering leaving my car at work and walking there instead. It felt weird to leave all my stuff in my trunk because I had forgotten to bring a backpack. I'm not too sure how safe it is there. Still, that would mean adding an extra 15 minutes each way probably. Hmm, I'm not sure what I'll do.

One thing I noticed during one of the stops I made to watch the surfers was that I haven't been to the beach, or even near it, for a really long time. The movement of the water as the waves came in was actually really relaxing. The rocking nature of it all, the smell of the ocean and the feel of the sun beating down on me brought back happy childhood memories. Why didn't I come here (or any beach on the south shore) earlier since moving into town?

And where did all the time go? Today brought back memories of high school when my friends and I would lounge at the beach the entire summer. It also reminded me of when my dad used to take me fishing with him. (Today I saw some guys with their poles up just waiting for a bite. Not sure if they caught anything though.)

But times like today also remind me that I am different than I was. And sometimes that might not be a bad thing. Still, in honor of the past, I found this YouTube video by slgeebrr surfing Kewalos in 1964.

Exercise Does A Body Good?

Today I saw the wildest thing ever since I moved into my own apartment about eight months ago. As I stood waiting on my driveway for my ride, I happened to look at the apartment building across the street. A slight movement caught my eye on the sixth floor.

Upon further inspection, I found a man walking on a treadmill next to his window. The curtains and jalousies were wide open, and the treadmill was situated parallel to the windows. There was a white towel that blocked the sun from beating down on his face. Squinting my eyes, because my brain did not believe what my eyes were seeing, revealed that the man was indeed buck naked! After a gasp and a giggle, I thought, "This is what apartment living is all about - the freaky neighbors."

Hesitating for only a second, I ran back to my apartment to grab my camera. Some might think that I'm a freak myself for wanting to document this rare find, but I just think of it as being a good blogger. This was too good to not blog about, right? I tried to snap a pic from my floor, but there were some trees in the way. I ended up on the landing between my floor and the next shooting through a crack in the wall.

When my ride arrived, I told them to look at the freaky, naked dude. I still couldn't believe that a grown-ass man would walk next to the window naked. Was this for real? Can exercise really do a body that good that you're ignorant of your nakedness?

They looked up at the sixth floor and said he wasn't naked. He was wearing peach-colored board shorts. You could definitely tell because of the shadows the shorts created. Also, unless his ass was wrinkly, he was definitely wearing shorts.

However, as they say a picture (or pictures, in my case) is worth a thousand words. If you ask me, those aren't a pair of peach-colored board shorts. Not by a long shot . . . .

Kickin' Up My Heels

Since my clothes are getting a bit snug and I'm definitely getting fat, I decided to turn over a new leaf today - May Day/Lei Day. Starting today, I vowed to myself that I'd do some sort of exercise at least every other day. So, to begin my new exercise regimen I decided to take a walk 'round Kapiolani Park after work.

Now, it's been a while since I've been to Kapiolani Park. I used to frequent it in high school for soccer games and tournaments or just to hang out at Walls with my friends. Since then, however, I haven't really been back. Today I was shocked to see how busy it was. As I circled the park toward the smaller mauka lot that I always park at, I noticed that it was pretty busy. Continuing to the larger mauka lot, I discovered it to be completely full! Wow, who knew people used the park this much on a weekday? In the end, I had to swing around and park at the lot in front of the Shell.

After doing a bit of stretching, I started on my walk. I didn't realize either a) how out of shape I've become, or b) how damn big the park actually was . . . probably a bit of both. Before I knew it, my calves were killing me, but I kept going. You gotta start somewhere so May 1st is that somewhere for me. It took me about 45 minutes to go around the entire park - with some stopping to stretch more and to watch some soccer players. Not bad, I suppose, for the first day. Hopefully I can pick up the pace after a couple days of this.

The bad part was that because I started at around 6 p.m. the sun was already going down. By the time I was hitting the home stretch, it was actually pretty cool and breezy, almost chilly. Guess this means I need to leave directly from work instead of stopping at home first. I was tempted to go across the street to see the bodyboarders and surfers making good use of the south swell, but I decided against it. Maybe next time.

As far as first days of exercise go, this went pretty well. I don't want to over do it, thus giving myself a reason to "rest" a few days, which normally develops into a few months. It was good to be outdoors again rather than at a gym that reeks of sweat.

One highlight was that I saw two Brits walking and talking as they made their way toward Walls. Love their accents, and they were talking soccer . . . ahem, I mean futbol.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net