Yesterday, while volunteering at JCCH, I spoke to another volunteer about her college plans. You see, she graduates from high school next week Saturday and is excited about her future. I vaguely remember feeling that same euphoria all those years ago. It was nice to bask in it again, if only for a half hour or so.
Anyway, she's going to OSU and talked endlessly about her hopes and what she expects college to be like. She talked about her worries about getting a roommate she'd like and the craziness that is dorm life. She pondered what there'd be to do since the campus is pretty much in the sticks. She said she wanted to get her driver's license before she left, just in case she'd be able to drive someone's car.
As she talked, I suddenly realized how long it's been since I've had that same feeling of wonder. At that point in life, there are endless possibilities out there for you. You don't quite know where your life will end up, but you're totally willing to see what happens. In fact, you rush toward your destiny with an impatience that others may view as reckless abandon. But to you, there's just no point in letting life happen to you. You'd prefer to interact with it, to embrace it. You grasp for that gold ring, hope things end well and leap with a faith that'll get you through even the worst.
When was the last time you lived with such fervor? When was the last time you walked toward the unknown, both eyes gleaming with anticipation? If you're like me, it's been a while. Stuck in your cubicles in a life-sucking void pretty much kills all of those feelings. Fighting against that bullshit bureaucracy that somehow has enveloped your entire life can be draining to say the least. When the hell did this become your life and why didn't you notice it before now?
I'm not saying to go jump off a cliff so you can feel that excitement again. I'm not saying to let go of all that you've become in order to reclaim your lost youth. I'm definitely not saying that. But what I am saying is why not still dabble in the amazing? Why not take risks that make you feel alive but won't necessarily kill you - at least not literally? Yes, you're older and wiser than you were before . . . but you're also probably a bit more well off, financially speaking, and can finally afford to do all those blue-sky dreams you rambled off when you were a broke college student.
The sad thing is that many of us are unlikely to do those things we planned while in some kind of drunken stupor. Even though we now have the time (be it just two weeks of vacation or not) and money, the inclination does not seem to be there. The youthful innocence we held only a few years ago has become just another casualty in life (along with eating cereal three meals a day and watching 24-hour marathons of your favorite sitcom). But why did we let it slip away so easily? Why do we continue to let it? Why not reinvigorate it and actually make things happen? What are we afraid of?
May 30, 2010
May 26, 2010
Disgruntled Much?
Lately I've realized that I'm becoming a lot more disgruntled at work. Most times I'm just there to punch the clock and don't have my heart and soul in the work. (Well, that's a bit deceptive because it implies that my heart and soul were once involved in the job when they really weren't.) I feel a lot more disconnected and find myself easily irritated by random things and people. Before I was able to dismiss or ignore them, but now I find that they just really bug me.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it. Besides actually landing a job in San Francisco, I don't think I want to find another job in town. Aside from these irritating events/people, my job provides very good benefits, I'm making enough to live and save a little and it's about a five-minute drive from my house. A girl can't complain about that especially when jobs are so scarce these days.
But despite all this, there's a growing restlessness inside me. One theory is that I've put off my quarterlife crisis for a few years and now it's just busting the door down and shouting to be heard. I don't really buy this though, because I swear I already had my quarterlife crisis (albeit a bit early) the semester before I graduated from college.
Another theory is that this disgruntled attitude has been fermenting ever since I walked through the door. Unlike other jobs where your expectations aren't dashed until several years later, this job doused my hopes after the first week or two. Apparently "enduring" isn't going to be enough anymore.
A third theory, which may be the most truthful of all, is that I'm just a product of my generation. I am not satisfied with an unfulfilling job where there is no communication, collaboration or creativity. I'm not satisfied with simpling doing my part and not being able to make a difference. I don't believe in the self-sacrificing, team-building B.S. that is pushed down our throats when management continues to be self-serving mercenaries. I don't like the top-down style of management and the conformity that is disguised by sprinkles of independence.
All of that is well and good, but now what should I do? For about as long as I've been toying with the idea of moving to San Francisco, another idea has been freestyling it throughout my brain. I've always thought it was completely unrealistic, but who's to say what is or isn't realistic? Society would have you believe only in convention and the normal hum-drum life. But what's "normal" these days anyway?
So this semi-crazy, vaguely irresponsible yet possibly thrilling and life-altering idea that's been passing in and out of my consciousness for about two years now is this: quit my job and travel full time. I don't even know how this is possible without using up my entire savings account. But dare I even think that it might just be worth it? After all, money is only money and can be made as quickly as it can be used.
With this idea constantly resurfacing (especially after bad days at work), I've continually looked for ways to make this happen, even as I tell myself that it's completely nuts. I keep reading blogs about people who have taken a career break and extended vacations. I keep trying to track down and assess how realistic their route, budget and travel distance are. I keep wondering if I couldn't just replicate this myself.
Could I really do this?
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it. Besides actually landing a job in San Francisco, I don't think I want to find another job in town. Aside from these irritating events/people, my job provides very good benefits, I'm making enough to live and save a little and it's about a five-minute drive from my house. A girl can't complain about that especially when jobs are so scarce these days.
But despite all this, there's a growing restlessness inside me. One theory is that I've put off my quarterlife crisis for a few years and now it's just busting the door down and shouting to be heard. I don't really buy this though, because I swear I already had my quarterlife crisis (albeit a bit early) the semester before I graduated from college.
Another theory is that this disgruntled attitude has been fermenting ever since I walked through the door. Unlike other jobs where your expectations aren't dashed until several years later, this job doused my hopes after the first week or two. Apparently "enduring" isn't going to be enough anymore.
A third theory, which may be the most truthful of all, is that I'm just a product of my generation. I am not satisfied with an unfulfilling job where there is no communication, collaboration or creativity. I'm not satisfied with simpling doing my part and not being able to make a difference. I don't believe in the self-sacrificing, team-building B.S. that is pushed down our throats when management continues to be self-serving mercenaries. I don't like the top-down style of management and the conformity that is disguised by sprinkles of independence.
All of that is well and good, but now what should I do? For about as long as I've been toying with the idea of moving to San Francisco, another idea has been freestyling it throughout my brain. I've always thought it was completely unrealistic, but who's to say what is or isn't realistic? Society would have you believe only in convention and the normal hum-drum life. But what's "normal" these days anyway?
So this semi-crazy, vaguely irresponsible yet possibly thrilling and life-altering idea that's been passing in and out of my consciousness for about two years now is this: quit my job and travel full time. I don't even know how this is possible without using up my entire savings account. But dare I even think that it might just be worth it? After all, money is only money and can be made as quickly as it can be used.
With this idea constantly resurfacing (especially after bad days at work), I've continually looked for ways to make this happen, even as I tell myself that it's completely nuts. I keep reading blogs about people who have taken a career break and extended vacations. I keep trying to track down and assess how realistic their route, budget and travel distance are. I keep wondering if I couldn't just replicate this myself.
Could I really do this?
May 18, 2010
Corporate Jumps on the YouTube Bandwagon
There's no avoiding it. My company is jumping on the YouTube bandwagon, which means that I'm writing scripts and casting actors from our current pool of staff members to create some kind of viral uprising.
Has Corporate even considered whether this is an effective means to reach our customers? Has anyone analyzed the ROI on this project? It doesn't seem likely. They just want to use today's social media (Twitter and Facebook are just around the corner) for the sake of using it.
So now we're embarking on unnecessary journey with no real map to getting where we need to go. It feels as futile as a uncovering a map for buried treasure and immediately hiring a ship to take me there.
The retarded thing is that Corporate doesn't want to use the media as it is fundamentally intended. The best part about all this web 2.0 stuff is that there's instantaneous feedback from your audience. You get to interact with them immediately rather than attach a note to a pidgeon's leg. However, it doesn't seem like Corporate wants any kind of feedback. They want to continue the old school method of shouting the loudest in order to be heard.
While we are using the current resources available to us, we are not using it wisely. I think we'll just end up abandoning this project halfway through. We'll do a couple videos and then people will lose interest because there's always something better just beyond the horizon. What a waste of time.
Has Corporate even considered whether this is an effective means to reach our customers? Has anyone analyzed the ROI on this project? It doesn't seem likely. They just want to use today's social media (Twitter and Facebook are just around the corner) for the sake of using it.
So now we're embarking on unnecessary journey with no real map to getting where we need to go. It feels as futile as a uncovering a map for buried treasure and immediately hiring a ship to take me there.
The retarded thing is that Corporate doesn't want to use the media as it is fundamentally intended. The best part about all this web 2.0 stuff is that there's instantaneous feedback from your audience. You get to interact with them immediately rather than attach a note to a pidgeon's leg. However, it doesn't seem like Corporate wants any kind of feedback. They want to continue the old school method of shouting the loudest in order to be heard.
While we are using the current resources available to us, we are not using it wisely. I think we'll just end up abandoning this project halfway through. We'll do a couple videos and then people will lose interest because there's always something better just beyond the horizon. What a waste of time.
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