The Curious Bike Messenger

On the way home from work today, I drove alongside one of those bike messengers. A couple things popped into my mind as I tried to avoid running his weaving ass over.

1. Why are most bike messengers these tall, lanky guys with longish, curly hair? Is it just me or do they all look the same?

2. How come these bike messengers always wobble when they start from a complete stop? You'd think their legs would be strong enough to get the bike going without weaving back and forth in the lane and giving motorists a heart attack.

3. How in the world does they pedal when their pants are a contradiction of sorts. On one hand, they're loose enough that we'd all see some plumber's crack had it not been for the guy's boxers. On the other, the cut is so tight and straight legged that they've gotta be skinny jeans. With the top loose and the bottom tight, how can his legs even move to pedal?

4. How do they manage to carry such heavy loads in their packs? I've seen some with bulging bags zipping through traffic like nothing.

I really do think bike messengers are entirely their own creatures. I don't know many people who would volunteer their lives day in and day out to ride unprotected among stupid motorists. These people must come from a brave stock.